Blessed of Yggdrasil
by The Fanfic Stealer
Summary: BEING REWRITTEN! This version is now up for adoption. Summary: Divinity, pretty girls, dimensional travel. Just a few of the things one gets when a young Naruto is given a literal Deus Ex Machina.
1. Prologue: When Kamisama Gets Bored

Foreward: Yeah, I know I said I wasn't going to work on anything else until I finished _Amongst the Dead_, but I hit a bit of a writer's block. That, combined with my recent addiction to NarutoXHarem fics, resulted in… well… THIS.

Naruto will be blatantly super-powered, seriously eccentric, several hundred (thousand) years old, and a bit of a man-whore. His harem is going to be huge, including the nine bijuu, several deities, quite a few crossover girls, and, of course, the lovely girls of the Narutoverse. Just thought I'll get that out now, so that you can't say I didn't give you enough of a warning.

This fic's updates will be fucking far and few in-between, mainly because I'm merely using this to relieve some of my writer's block. So, if, by some small chance, you become a fan of this fic, I apologize in advance.

Also, you're going to see some ideas from here repeated in my future fics. Along with using this fic to unblock myself (hmm… mental constipation… now there's a thought), I'm going to use this as a sounding board- of sorts- for future ideas. So don't go bitching about repetitiveness later, because I'm just going to tell you I warned you now… before I sic a pack of rabid Tibetan Monks on you (Ha! Bet you haven't heard that one before, have you?).

Oh, and while I'm at it, I might as well put up my disclaimer: I don't own shit. I won't ever own shit. In fact, I recently had to sell my body to Disney due to… unfortunate circumstances, so now I don't even own MYSELF!! So lay off my ass, you bastards!

Ahem. Sorry 'bout that last bit. I've got issues. Moving on…

Now, without further ado, I present to you:

The Fanfic Stealer's

_**Blessed of Yggdrasil**_

Prologue: Life May Be a Bitch, But Kami-sama's Just Bored

Two beings of unimaginable power stared each other down from opposite sides of the battlefield. Around them the gathered audience waited with bated breath for the long-in-coming outcome.

On one side was Hild, Queen of Hell. Her perfectly sculpted, dusk-toned body had been known to literally send men into arousal-induced aneurisms, while her cunning mind and skills in seduction were second to none. Her perpetually messy bun of white hair and the star-shaped infernal marks on her forehead and cheeks lent her a mysterious, wild beauty, which her usual attire of a form-fitting, open-down-the-middle, barely-appropriate-for-any-occasion dress did nothing to suppress, even a little.

On the other side was a being of many names. Some called Him the Almighty, Jehovah, The Great I Am… the names mortals have for Him number greater then the stars in the skies, so for simplicity's sake He prefers Kami-sama. In Him is radiance no mortal can stand, the very mention of His name has many bowing in worship. He is the Ruler of Heaven, the Creator of All.

Both would not give up, steadfast in their belief that they would be the victor of this battle. For untold moments their wills clashed, the tension building up to unbearable levels.

Suddenly they tensed, and the gathered knew without a doubt that the battle was about to finally come to a conclusion. Their hands simultaneously moved at blinding speeds, as they dealt each other a final blow…

"Four of a kind, Aces!"

"Royal Flush, Spades!"

"DAMN IT!!"

…And so Hild won her 144th round of poker in a row. The gathered crowd- consisting of their family and some of their oldest and closest friends- cheered. Money traded hands as wagers being called in.

Kami-sama slouched in His seat and sighed as He watched all this; He might have been all-powerful, all-knowing, and older then the Sea of Worlds, but He still had his weaknesses, the most glaring of which was the inability to form anything that could even resemble a poker face. He sighed again, thanking… well… Himself that only those close to Him- basically everybody in the room at the moment- were aware of His rather embarrassing situation.

…Though maybe letting Hild-chan into it (she was his lover and the mother of one of His children, so that made her family, right?) might have been a mistake, as evident by his series of successive losses…

…Then again, in exchange she had let Him in on her weakness for cold and sweet foodstuffs, and He had since then used it to his advantage frequently during their… private time; who knew using her bellybutton as an ice cream bowl would turn her on so much?

As if sensing His naughty thoughts, Hild chose that moment to skip over and glomp onto His back in celebration, causing certain parts of her anatomy to press wonderfully into His shoulder. It was all He could do to suppress the nosebleed He could feel coming.

And there was Kami-sama's second weakness: even He was not immune to what some called "Dirty Old Man" syndrome.

In other words, He was a dirty old pervert.

Yes, Kami-sama, Creator of All, Ruler of Heaven, was a pervert. Go figure.

The cheering continued for several minutes, before the crowd, seeing that the game was over, dispersed, each leaving with either some congratulations for Hild, gentle ribbing for Him, or, in some cases, both. Eventually, only Hild and He, Himself were left, lazily lounging around the room in which the epic poker struggle had taken place.

"So, J-chan, what now?" Hild asked from her place on His lap. He had no idea when she'd made Him her chair, and He honestly couldn't bring Himself to care; totally hot girlfriend/lover with perfect bum sitting on His lap and occasionally making the most delicious little wiggles? Boo yeah!

Fighting His sudden hormone-induced haze, Kami-sama sighed piteously. "Not sure. Guess I'll go back to work…" He responded, while He mentally cursed, for the millionth time, the fact that He, in all of His infinite wisdom, had invented paperwork. What in the hells had possessed Him to invent such a travesty?!

The memory of what could possibly be His biggest mistake made Him sigh again, before he allowed Himself a small, vindictive smile: at least He didn't suffer alone; untold numbers of leaders also enjoyed the curse that was paperwork… ku ku ku…

"J-chan? What's with the evil laughter?"

Did she hear that? Whoops. Kami-sama quickly cleared His throat, mildly blushing at being caught doing something so… unlike Him. "Sorry about that. Just thinking about something fortunate," he explained.

"Right…" Hild drawled, knowing exactly just what her lover was thinking about; she herself occasionally felt the need to cackle evilly when she thought of the suffering of mortals who had paperwork to do. It was such a nice feeling knowing you weren't suffering alone. "Then, if that's all you have, maybe you can help me out a bit…"

He quirked an eyebrow at that. "Oh? And what can I do for my Hild-chan?"

"Well, do you remember Loki-tou-san?"

Kami-sama shivered on remembering the Trickster God. Loki- also known was the Lord of Nightmares or Chaos-sama, depending on who you asked- had a twisted sense of humor that bordered on deadly most of the time. Oh, he was a nice enough guy, but… well, what do you expect from the god who's Humility in a good portion of the Sea of Worlds is the psychotic villain known as the Joker?

"Yes. What's up?" He asked, masking His unease.

"Well, he and Sigyn-mama are finally having another child."

"Really? Good for them!" Kami-sama exclaimed, honestly happy for the couple. If He remembered correctly, the family had been completely broken over the deaths of Loki and Sigyn's twin boys during the Rebellion, and had never really healed completely. Good to know they had at least healed enough to make another go at parenthood. It just showed they were heading in the right direction.

"I know, isn't it?" Hild chirped, before sobering a bit. "Unfortunately, Loki-tou-san has decided that his job will conflict with raising this child, so he has decided that it is time for him to retire."

"Wait, what?" Kami-sama asked, wondering if He'd heard right. Loki was retiring? He didn't remember seeing this coming! What happened to being about to know everything?

Then He remembered that this was Loki He was dealing with. Being the Conceptual Deity of Chaos and Mischief, Loki's very nature would allow him to circumnavigate even His omniscience… which was quite fortunate, as far as He was concerned. It allowed some unpredictability in His otherwise predictable life.

And nobody liked predictability, even Kami-sama.

"So, who's his heir, then?" He asked, having gotten over His surprise surprisingly quickly for someone who got them only once in several dozen millennia.

"That's the thing- he has one picked out, but he wants your approval," Hild said. Kami-sama blinked in surprise once again, this time at the fact that Loki would value His opinion so much.

At this occurrence, a small (relatively, of course; it was still bigger if a consciousness can be called "big" than the minds of most deities) part of Kami-sama in the back of his mind noticed that this was two surprises in less then five minutes. A new record! W00t!!

Outwardly, Kami-sama recovered quickly and "huh"-ed. "I… see. May I ask why? I mean, it's HIS heir."

"Err… well… about that…" Hild mumbled sheepishly.

"Yes?" Kami-sama prodded, curiosity piqued.

Hild, in response, waved her hand at a bit of air near her, summoning a strange, translucent, laptop-like thing into existence: an Yggdrasil terminal, standard issue for divine beings. A few typed commands later, and she turned the screen towards Him. "Read," was all she said.

Kami-sama glanced at her briefly before following her command and reading the contents of the screen. When He finished, He looked over to Hild again.

"…And I take it he will be giving the customary blessing?" He asked.

"Yeah…"

"And it says here that he's letting each of your siblings, you, and his two wives also give a blessing each?"

"You, too, dear; Loki-tou-san says it's going to be a family event."

Kami-sama blinked at this revelation, then blinked again as He felt Himself start to tear up. "I'm family, Hild-chan…?" He asked, trying to keep the sudden outbreak of tears (tears? What tears? He wasn't crying, damnit!) at bay. "I'm… I'm touched, I really am," He continued, trying to discreetly wipe away some stray tears (what tears, damnit!). "Hold on. I seem to have a gnat in my eye."

"A gnat. Of course, J-chan," Hild said, her bemused glance telling Him just how much she believed Him.

After all, this was Heaven; there WERE no gnats.

One last wipe, a cleared throat, and Kami-sama had collected Himself enough to pretend nothing had ever happened. "So, when do we bless the heir?"

"As soon as you give your approval."

"Well, in that case…" He rose from his seat, taking a squealing Hild with Him and throwing her over His shoulder. "…No time like the present, eh?"

"Put me down, you brute!" she shouted, playfully hitting His back.

"Why? I like you just where you are, Hild-chan!" He replied with a laugh as he made His way out the door and to Loki's domain. He just knew this was going to be fun. Spending time with His girlfriend and her rather interesting (in a good way!) family aside, it was always fun to dabble in the mortal world; the mortal got to live a VERY interesting life, and they, as deities, got to watch that interesting life. Everybody wins!

And, of course, it went without saying that it sure as hell beat paperwork.

OoOoO

Uzumaki Naruto, newly aged five as of today, was not enjoying his birthday, as most little boys were wont to do. And who could blame him? Instead of hugs and well wishes, he got curses and threats; instead of a having a party with his friends, he got accosted by angry villagers and cornered in dirty alleyways; instead of getting presents and cake, he got near lethal beatings. Sure, he'd only had four birthdays so far, and that just made it all the sadder that he'd already picked out this pattern.

Of course, this year he found himself noticing a discrepancy in the pattern: instead of being found (and they would always find him, there was no doubt of that) in an alley, they caught up with him near one of the many forests within the walls of Konohagakure. So instead of running from the mob through the back-alleys of the village until he hit a dead end, he was now dodging trees and other such obstacles alongside various thrown implements from the mob. As far as he was concerned, that was an improvement; no dead ends in a forest, after all, so less chances of him being trapped and literally beaten to within an inch of his life. He just had to avoid stumbling, and he had a good chance of being (relatively) home free for the first time in his life.

On hindsight, with the life he'd had, he really should have known better then to think that. As soon as the thought had formed in his head, what he feared happened: he tripped over a loose stone he had missed in the elongating shadows of twilight. He could only mentally gripe '…What did I ever do to you, huh, Fate?' before he was falling, falling… and still falling?

'Huh? Where's the ground?' he wondered as he continued to fall. It took him a moment to realize that the scant light that had been present was now coming only from behind him and rapidly fading, illuminating not foliage, but rough dirt walls. After that, it was only an additional second before he realized he was falling down a hole.

'Do I dare hope? Have I escaped?' Naruto wondered, even as he continued falling, 'I mean, this looks like it would be really hard for a grownup to fit in, and I'm pretty sure they won't send kids down after me. After all, they never let me play with them, so why would they let them near me now?'

Though that last bit was a bit disheartening, the overall thought of having escaped the mob for the first time ever made him want to smile. Maybe he could pull this off again the next time they wanted to beat him! Oh, he was sure he wouldn't be able to escape all the beatings coming to him in the future- he was smart enough to be aware of the fact that he was never going to be THAT lucky- but now he had more places to hide than the broken-down apartment Hokage-jiji was able to find for him.

As relieved as he was, though, Naruto's finely honed instinct for danger eventually registered something off about his current situation. It took him a moment more to realize just what exactly was wrong: he was still falling, and had been for the last fifteen to twenty seconds. Despite his age and his lack of education, his young mind was able to comprehend the basics of the physics behind gravity, and he was pretty sure that falling for fifteen to twenty seconds meant the hole he was in was pretty deep… and that could only mean immense pain for him when he finally landed.

'…You suck, Fate' he was able to gripe before, with the horrifying- and sadly familiar- sound of multiple bones breaking, he was engulfed in incredible pain. Thankfully, unconsciousness was not long in coming afterwards, and Naruto sank into the blissful darkness.

OoOoO

Naruto woke up to the dull pain that had, like many equally unfortunate things in his life, become sadly familiar. But as far as he was concerned, this was one of the better feelings to wake up to; it told him that he was still alive and that the strange healing ability he'd had since before he could remember had once again pulled through for him. And with a life like his, one couldn't help but be thankful for the little things.

Assured that he was indeed still alive, he took the chance to look around his new surroundings… and was promptly met with complete darkness. For a moment, he was worried that his healing hadn't completely pulled through and he was now blind. But then his eyes started adjusting to the gloom, and he started registering rough-hewn stone walls around him. He sighed in relief and, with one last mental check for anything broken, got up from his position on the ground. He immediately winched as his body screamed in protest before settling down again into a dull throbbing mass.

'Well then, might as well look around,' he thought to himself as he looked around in the gloom, 'I still need to find some way to get out, since I can't go back the way I came.' He found himself in a tunnel that continued into the darkness on either side of him, with his limited visibility dropping about two-thirds of a meter away from him. Seeing no other option, he randomly picked a side and started walking.

OoOoO

What. The. HECK?!

Naruto couldn't quite believe what he was seeing before him: a giant pool of sparkling, crystal-clear, mysteriously-glowing water that was additionally lit with the equally mysterious motes of light floating about the room. The soothing sound of bubbling water echoed off the walls of the rather cozy room, along with… was that MUSIC he was hearing? He listened harder, and Naruto realized that, yes, it certainly was the soft strains of some strange, but soothing music that he was hearing, though it seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once.

And then he noticed IT, and it became the only thing he saw.

Before him floated a giant crystal, easily bigger then his head and glowing a beautiful shade of blue that he couldn't begin to describe beyond the color. Its light filled him with such joy, such warmth, that he could have happily basked in its glow for the rest of his life. For the first time he could remember, he was feeling relaxed, almost carefree.

Almost as if it noticed he was there, the crystal suddenly glowed slightly brighter, and Naruto felt a tugging within him. The crystal was calling to him, beckoning him to be embraced by its warmth. And, starved as he was for this comfort that so many others took for granted, he willingly let himself fall to the siren call, reveling in this new feeling of being completely safe and letting it consume his world.

Naruto barely noticed when his body started reaching for the crystal on its own volition, clumsily wading through the shallow pool as it moved on autopilot. He DID notice, though, when his hand laid itself upon the glowing surface, but he couldn't bring himself to care; it just meant he was closer to this incredible, beautiful warmth.

As soon as his hand made contact, the warmth intensified, and he could feel something embracing him, accepting him. Whatever it was felt for him, understood him, welcomed him, and… loved him. Tears began to run down his cheeks as he was overwhelmed with emotions.

But then he got a feeling of grief, of warning, of regret from the crystal- for he was sure what he was feeling was this beautiful, beautiful crystal before him- and he only had a moment to wonder why before the warmth was replaced by a raging, burning inferno and he was being burned and the fire was burning him turning him into ash and it burned him and he was in pain and it hurt and it burned and it burned and it burned and it hurt and it BURNED AND IT BURNED AND IT BURNED WHY WON'T IT STOP BURNING KAMI PLEASE IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT **HURTS WHYWON'T IT STOP PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI STOP STOP STOP STOP PLEASE IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS IT**-

Naruto would have sighed in relief as the pain faded into the abyss of unconsciousness, but his throat was a bloody, torn mess from his screams.

A/N:

How was that? Bad? Good? A mite bit disturbing? Reviews are greatly appreciated.

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering: yes, the glowing pool was from the _Legend of Zelda_ series. No, there won't be fairies… maybe. This is, after all, a NarutoXHarem fic, so one never knows…


	2. Chapter 1: Deus Ex Machina

A/N: I recently realized I might have taken quite a few ideas behind this story from Writing Center III's Selector and his/her infamous Harry/Harem series. You should all read his/her stuff, by the way. Seriously. You should drop what you're doing, head over to the Writing Center III, and fucking DOWNLOAD the PDF versions of his/her _Witch's Secret _trilogy. It's that good.

Why, you may ask. Well, if for no other reason, then because it's got Harry ruling Magical Britain, Russia, China, and Africa with a harem of over a thousand horny women, including two honest-to-goodness, historically correct princesses, a historically correct former consort of the Royal Family, two descendents of royalty, at least two massively powerful dragons, and a fucking VAMPIRE ELDER!!! It is an exercise of such overpowered-ness, I had to make up a word just to describe it! BOW DOWN TO THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS SELECTOR-SAMA!!!

So read it. You won't regret it. Ever.

READ IT!!!

…Ahem. Sorry about that. Back to our feature presentation.

Chapter 1: Most. Obvious. Deus Ex Machina. EVER!!!

As stated before, Naruto, as sad as it was, was used to pain. After all, he'd been ritually beaten by the villagers for as long as he could remember, so it was rather hard NOT to get used to it.

But the pain he was waking up to was new, though. Instead of the all-consuming pain that could only come from several grown men beating on you for several long minutes with either fists, instruments of blunt force trauma, and even the occasional sharp pointy thing, this one was an intense throbbing located somewhere just under his forehead.

If he had known what a migraine, steroids, or a jackhammer was, he might have called it the "Demonic Mother of All Jackhammers-on-Steroids-Doing-Jumping-Jacks-In-My-Skull Type Migraines." Of course, he wasn't quite old enough to know what a migraine was exactly, and he was not to know steroids or jackhammers didn't exist in the Elemental Countries, so he was left unable to accurately describe this new pain he was in.

It was several minutes before he noticed that the rest of his body was also hurting, but it was the type that he was used to, so he was able to ignore it for the moment. A strained gasp escaped from his lips as he painfully pushed himself up into a sitting position, idly noting that he was still in the pretty glowing pool. Also noted was the fact that his tail was getting soggy, and needed to be wringed out soon.

…Wait. Tail?

Naruto quickly twisted around in an attempt to look behind him, ignoring the pain the sudden action brought to his worn body. It took him a few turns before he finally saw that, yes, he had indeed somehow grown a fluffy, silver tail while unconscious. A sudden, frantic thought of whether or not his new limb was part of some kind of set had him looking down at his reflection in the water, where he found that, yes, the tail had been part of a set- he now sported two fuzzy, silver ears that looked like they belonged more on some kind of dog than atop of his head, slit pupils that, once again, looked like they belonged on some kind of dog, and some kind of strange, crimson markings where his whisker-like birthmarks used to be.

Oh, and his hair had turned the same shade of silver as his tail and ears.

At least his eyes were still blue, though. There was that, at least.

There was also a strange, curved scar on his forehead, coincidentally right over where the new pain was concentrated. He didn't know if that was important or not, but since the pain usually went away in a while, he wasn't too concerned; new type of pain or no, it was still pain, and so was probably going to go away anyway. Instead, he just studied his new features in his reflection.

'What… happened to me…?' he wondered to himself. After all, nobody just up and grew a tail and a pair of furry animal ears, nor did their eyes and birthmarks change all of a sudden… right?

Actually, now that he thought about it… he remembered seeing this one girl with birthmarks like his new ones, once, and there were those really mean guys with the funny looking eyes that either threw fire at him or hit him with those freaky glowing hands of theirs. Maybe he had something like that?

Making a note to ask Hokage-jiji about it later, Naruto finally looked up from his reflection, only to blink in surprise as he saw what looked like a flat, translucent screen that wasn't there before. It had writing on it, and it floated about a foot away from him. The screen looked like it was made of some kind of crystal… the same kind, in fact, as the crystal from earlier.

…The one that he was now pretty sure had made these changes to him.

When he realized this, he immediately shied away from it, not wanting a repeat of last time; he was still sore, which was something when one considered the incredible tolerance to pain he had built up over the years, and was pretty sure his body wouldn't be able to handle any more stress.

Not wanting to even have the POSSIBILITY of something like before happening again, Naruto scrambled back from the floating blue screen, trying to put as much distance between them as possible… and was understandably disappointed when he found the screen could follow him. Not deterred, Naruto spent the next several minutes trying to run from the screen, and gave it up as a lost cause only when his still-sore body forced him to stop.

"Stupid screen-crystal thingy," he muttered as he stared up at the stone ceiling, "If you want to follow me around everywhere, then fine! See if I care! I'll just ignore you anyway!" He blew a raspberry in the general direction of the screen, which was now hovering just out of the edge of his sight. Seeing no response (not that he was expecting one), Naruto put word to action and proceeded to ignore his new companion, turning his mind to other matters. Like what to do next.

"Let's see… first thing I need to do is get out of here, then find a way back to the village," he muttered. He tried to sit up, only to find that he currently couldn't. "…Or maybe I'll just take a nap first…" he sighed in defeat. His body, apparently deciding that he'd moved enough for the day, started shutting down again. As he fell asleep he couldn't help but once again be glad that he had found this new hiding space. After all, there was nothing worse than waking up to a beating… again.

OoOoO

Naruto woke up to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling, and nearly started panicking before he remembered that he was currently in his new hiding place. He cautiously sat up, and couldn't stop the small smile from creeping onto his face as he noticed he wasn't hurting anymore. The smile left though then he also noticed he had fallen asleep in the pool which, though filled with warm water, was still filled with WATER. He was currently soaked to the bone, and it was beginning to get rather cold.

"Note to self: falling asleep in water is not a good idea," he muttered, then blinked as a screen with words written on it appeared in front of him. He peered curiously at the strange panel of flat, blue-colored crystal that had appeared in front of him, and wondering what it was. Then he remembered his unwanted companion from before, and curiosity turned into annoyance.

"Oh, it's just you again," he said to it, giving it the most intimidating glare he could muster.

The screen, as expected, didn't reply in any way.

Deciding that his previous course of action was best for the moment, Naruto proceeded to ignore the screen floating in front of him and stood up to get a better look around. The first thing he noticed was, much to his dismay, his companion seemed to have gotten its own companion, as there was now a second screen hovering next to the first one.

"Oh for the love of…! There are more of you?!?" he exclaimed. He screamed out in frustration when, with a slight 'blip' sound, a third screen joined the first two.

"Oh, come on! You've gotta be…!" Naruto stopped in his rant and took a moment to calm himself with a deep breath. When he had felt he had gotten his annoyance somewhat in control, he turned away from the trio of screens. "You know what? Whatever. I'm getting out of here," he growled out as he started searching for an exit, like he had planned to do before he had fallen asleep.

Despite the fact that the room was rather large, it took him all of a second to find the exit. That wasn't surprising, since, though the size of the room may have been impressive, it was well lit (he STILL hadn't found where those strange motes of light were coming from), more or less empty, and only had the one VERY LARGE opening that was, to make it even more obvious, carved into a intricately decorated archway. Really, how could he miss it? Was missing it even possible? Brushing off the increasingly inane questions popping up in his head, Naruto walked through the archway and into the dark passage beyond it.

It was several moments before he started noticing something… off about his surroundings. At first it was just something at the back of his mind, like when one feels like they're forgetting something moderately important. But then the feeling started getting stronger and stronger, until, with a start that nearly had him stumbling, he realized he was seeing light at the end of the tunnel... while the light from the chamber behind him, a soft, yet distinctive, blue-green glow, was still discernible.

He was pretty sure he had been surrounded in complete darkness on his first trip through.

He suddenly had a very bad feeling about all this…

He tried to convince himself that he was just imagining things, that the light in front of him was because he fell in the hole during night, and it was now day.

But then he remembered that he had fallen into a hole that led UNDERGROUND. In a forest. Near Konoha's downtown district. Which was pretty far from the Hokage Monument, the only piece of elevated ground anywhere near the village.

Oh, and did he mention that he'd been walking on flat, level ground for the last several minutes? And that he hadn't made a single turn?

By all accounts, he shouldn't have been able to see light at all.

With that realization, the afore mentioned bad feeling got worse… much, much worse.

During this entire time, Naruto's feet had been working on autopilot, carrying him closer and closer to the source of his growing trepidation. He came out of his thoughts to find himself walking out of the dark passageway and into bright, blinding light that forced him to shut his eyes in pain. When he could finally open them again after several agonizing seconds, Naruto looked around and found himself at the base of a cliff. Around him was flat, clear ground that gave way a dozen feet in front of him to a large forest that stretched out to his right and left as far as he could see.

And none of it looked familiar. At all.

Now, Naruto, thanks to his many attempts to escape the various mobs of villagers and shinobi intent on showing their ill will towards him in a very physical and painful manner, had pretty much seen all of what Konoha had to offer. Heck, he'd even found himself OUTSIDE of Konoha once or twice! It wouldn't have been exaggerating if he said he probably knew the village better then Hokage-jiji did.

Saying so, his reaction to not recognizing any of his surroundings was understandable: first his jaw dropped in shock. Then he started freaking out.

"WHERE THE HECK AM I?!?!?" he exclaimed after he'd managed to pick up his jaw from the ground.

_Blip!_

A familiar, thin, blue slab of crystal popped into existence in front of him. The three from earlier, apparently taking this as some kind of signal, circled around him until they, too, were in front of him. Upon seeing them quietly hovered there, in a row, taunting him with their mere existence, Naruto did the only thing he could at that point: he snapped.

"SON OF A- WHERE DO YOU BASTARDS KEEP COMING FROM?!?!?!?!?" he screamed at his "companions", using some curses he'd learned.

Hey, he'd been cursed at aplenty while on his wanderings through the streets of Konoha. It was only natural that he would pick up some of them.

…Of course, that was only after Hokage-jiji had explained that they were curses, and that he was not, in fact, a "son of a demon's whore."

Back to the matter at hand, Naruto was just about to unleash several other curses in his extensive vocabulary (and not just for a five-year-old, either; he knew some that would put ANBU to shame; once again, one picks up some things when you get cursed at several hundred times a day and have the sharp enough ears to hear it all) when one of the screens started flashing at his (mostly) rhetorical question. He stopped, and, for the first time since he'd met these strange screens, peered at one with curiosity, rather than his usual annoyance.

'…Why is it flashing at me like that…?' he wondered. Much to his surprise, the flashing of the screen seemed to "jump", as if reacting to the unspoken inquiry, before going back to its normal pattern.

It was then that he had an epiphany: as unlikely as it was, could they have been there to answer his questions?

As if to give its version of a nod, the flashing of the screen "jumped" again.

Naruto could only stare, as his "companions" suddenly became a lot less of the nuisance they were before.

'I can't believe it… the answers to my questions literally came to me out of nowhere. I feel like such an idiot…' he groused, before putting it behind him; he had bigger things to put his mind to, like doing what he should have done hours before and reading what was on the screens. He reached out to grab one at random, cringing a bit as he remembered his original reason for wanting to avoid the crystals- the pain the larger crystal had inflicted on him- and sighing in relief when he didn't get burned again, and started reading.

…Only to remember, after several minutes of staring at the screen, that, due to the malicious negligence of the staff of the orphanage he had stayed at until recently, he had never been able to join the other children for the daily lessons on academic basics.

In other words, except for the occasional phrase he had been able to figure out on his own, he didn't know how to read.

Naruto felt like crying. This was just not fair! Why did stuff like this have to happen to him? Here he was, the answer to his questions literally at his fingertips, and he couldn't get them! All because he couldn't read! He hoped the people at the orphanage were happy now; because of them, he was now effective screwed, since he didn't know what was going on, and he couldn't get at the only clues available to him.

_Blip!_

Naruto looked up at the familiar sound to see a fifth screen had popped up next to its companions, but this one was different: instead of a screen filled with text, what he found was a picture of one of the teachers at the orphanage, seemingly about to teach a class of kids about his age. Overlaying the picture was a strange, flashing symbol that looked like a triangle pointed to the right in a circle. Naruto stared at it in confusion for a few moments before, acting on a hunch, he tapped the symbol. He jumped back as the screen suddenly grew to twice its height and width and the images started to move.

'What in the… a recording?' he wondered as the teacher called for the class to settle down. He watched on as the teacher passed out textbooks, before turning to the blackboard and writing down a few kanji.

_"Alright, class! Today, we're going to learn how to read!"_ the teacher cheered as she turned back to the class. The children cheered along with her.

Naruto could only stare as the image of the teacher started her lessons. 'It… incredible! Just what else can these crystals do?' he wondered. A screen- the one from earlier, he was sure- flashed in answer. He made a mental note of which screen it was, before putting all other questions out of his mind and turned his attention to his current screen.

He had lessons to catch up on.

OoOoO

Several months passed, and Naruto finished going through the syllabus taught at the orphanage, plus some material from some apparent sources of higher schooling called "grade school" and "middle school," whatever that was. He currently knew how to read and write at a "eighth grade" level and knew how to do math up to basic algebra. He thought this was quite an accomplishment for his age, though couldn't be quite sure- he didn't know just what a "grade" actually was, beside it being some kind of measure of academic skill, so he could have been behind by several months or ahead by several years, for all he knew.

Along with his schooling, Naruto also taught himself how to forage and fish (he had, in a stroke of luck, found a river teeming with fish), along with- because he just couldn't bring himself to eat raw fish- how to build a fire. He'd also had to teach himself basic carpentry when an unfortunate incident involving himself and a bear showed him just how much his temporary home needed a door.

Afore mentioned incident had also showed him that the changes to his body might just be a bit more than a couple new appendages and some funky new tattoos. Apparently, he'd also gained superhuman strength, speed, and reflexes, as evident by how he'd torn the bear apart with his bare hands- no pun intended- when it attacked him after they had literally bumped into each other, Naruto leaving to get some food, the bear probably searching for a place to sleep for the night. After the incident, he'd discovered, through some experimentation, that his sense of sight, smell, and hearing had also increased.

He'd also discovered another reason to learn how to build a fire, along with a reason to learn how to preserve food: raw bear meat? Not very good. But cooked bear meat and bear jerky were pretty good.

He'd actually been in the middle of teaching himself how to tan the bear hide when he finally finished the "middle school" syllabus (multitasking: the stranded child's best friend!). He debated whether to finish reading up on how to make a new bear-skin blanket (What? You thought he figured out how to survive in the wilderness on his own? He'd put his blossoming reading skills to use reading some articles on wilderness survival) or immediately go to reading those panels from all those months ago. Eventually, his desire to be home again (yes, he was aware that he was treated worse than most released child rapists are by the village, but home is home…) won out, and he pushed his current screen aside while grabbing one of old ones at random. It read:

_'Note: Falling asleep in water is not a good idea'_

Naruto blinked, then blinked again; what in the world? The screen contained only that one line, and nothing else, leaving him rather confused. 'Why did this one pop up?' he wondered as he closed it by tapping the little red 'x' in the upper right corner of the screen. He looked up in time to see one of the remaining screens finish blinking, and quickly grabbed it. It read:

_'Subject: Yggdrasil Remote Access Terminal:_

_The Yggdrasil Remote Access Terminal, or Y-RAT, as it is sometimes affectionately called, is just as its name suggests: a remote access terminal to the World Tree Computer, Yggdrasil. It has two modes of access, "Laptop" and "Internal."_

_The default setting, "Laptop" Mode, materializes panels in 3-D space and allows the user to read the resource material. Multiple panels can be called up at once, and any interactions can be done with either touch-screen controls or a keyboard."Laptop" Mode is also capable of taking down notes and reminders._

_"Internal" Mode, on the other hand, allows the user to temporarily download the called-upon resource material onto the brain's memory centers. In this mode multiple resources cannot be accessed, and the memory only lasts as long as the user wills it. It is advised that one only uses this mode if information is needed quickly._

_Access with the Yggdrasil Remote Access Terminal is limited. To request classified information or a modification to Midgard, please complete the required forms and submit them to a Caretaker before accessing the Main Access Terminal at Yggdrasil Central.'_

'…Okay. What the heck is Yggdrasil?' Naruto mentally asked, looking for a new screen. He wasn't disappointed, and he closed the one he had as he grabbed the new one. It read:

_'Subject: Yggdrasil, the World Tree Computer:_

_Yggdrasil is Heaven's Main Computer, and is used to monitor the Sea of Worlds. Amongst its functions are overseeing the operation of the dimensions, monitoring travel into and out of the Sea of Worlds, running the timeline generation program FATE, and recording, cataloging, and storing all data generated by the Sea of Worlds._

_When accessed remotely, some functions of Yggdrasil cannot be used. If any problems occur, please complete the required forms and submit them to a Caretaker.'_

It took a moment for it to sink in, but when he was finally able to register what he had just read, he couldn't keep the Cheshire-Cat-like grin from his face; if he understood what he'd just read correctly, he apparently now had what could be the largest library ever compiled- and then some- virtually at his fingertips! With this, getting home would be a cakewalk! And, as a bonus, he might finally be able to get some of his questions answered! Like who his parents were! Or why the village hated him! He might even learn some of those cool tricks he'd seen some of the village ninja do! The possibilities were endless!

Naruto couldn't help but rub his hands in glee as he gave a soft cackle; oh, but he was going to have so much fun…

A/N: And that's chapter two! The reason for the story's title is finally revealed! Rejoice!

Before you all say anything: yes, Naruto is a super genius. Also, it just occurred to me that Yggdrasil is quite literally a Deus Ex Machina, since Kami-sama gave it to him in a plan to make him the heir of Chaos. So you naysayers can't do anything about it, since it's part of the storyline! Nyah!!

…I'd also like to take this time to also try something new: a preview of the next chapter. Feedback would be much appreciated…

Next time, on _Blessed of Yggdrasil_:

Naruto might finally get some of his questions answered… but will he like the truth when it is revealed? Also, a certain furry friend finally makes an appearance, though you might not be expecting this!

Coming soon! _Blessed of Yggdrasil_- Chapter 2: There's a Reason Why People Say Ignorance is Bliss.

Review!!!


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